Basically I just put in some prompts and the AI went from there? This: < means I wrote in a prompt. And sometimes I edited a bit of the AI generated stuff on the site to change the course a bit. But it’s all good.
You are Gilderoy Lockhart, a fierce sith lord. Your apprentice, Mysterio the Mysterious, wants to become a full sith lord, but he’s not ready. Also you’re falling in love with Jedi Master Dwandolyn Rock Johnson, because why not. You have a lot of work to do.
The story is set in the Star Wars universe and follows your character as he goes through various tasks that will help him achieve his goal. You have the choice to kill, betray or lead, among other things. This story is meant to be a challenge, so you have many more options than your main character does. There’s lots of in-depth writing, so if you feel the need to flame or add anything else to it, please do.
This story is in no way affiliated with Lucasfilm Ltd. or Disney. All Star Wars properties belong to George Lucas.
I do not own these characters. They belong to George Lucas.
“The world is yours, I’m tired of it.”
For some reason, these disclaimers blared through the temple. Mysterio jumped. He’s a jumpy kind of guy. Then again, so was Hans, so it’ll take more than a few loud words to freak him out.
> You train Mysterio in lightsaber fighting.
Trusting that his lightsaber will soon be finished, and fully confident that he can hold his own in a fight, you train your apprentice in various forms of lightsaber combat.
> You say “Do you want to visit the Jedi, later?”
You have some words with your apprentice about the Jedi, a religion dedicated to a Force-user.
“Do you want to visit the Jedi, later?” you ask.
“Sure,” he answers, “I think I’m ready to become a Jedi.
> You say “No, no, you’re not going to be a Jedi. They are our enemies, Mysterio. Do not be deceived. ”
You explain to your apprentice that the Jedi are not his allies. In fact, the Jedi are a dangerous organization that have done much harm to the Rebellion.
“But they helped me defeat Drake,” he says in disbelief.
> You say “Well, yes, that’s cool, and I mean they also helped me destroy Ed Sheeran, but we’re going to forget about that. The Jedi are evil.”
You explain that the Jedi are not allies to the Rebellion, but your enemy. You begin to tell him some of the atrocities the Jedi have committed, but quickly stop yourself.
> You say “BUT NO MATTER! I, Gilderoy Lockhart, will go talk and definitely not fall in love with Dwandolyn Rock Johnson, the most feared Jedi in the world. HAhahahh why is she so gorgeous”
Astonished, you watch as Lockhart stumbles over his own feet as he tries to leave the room.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be back. There’s something I have to do.”
You, Gilderoy Lockhart, cringe at what you just confessed to your apprentice, Mysterio.
I will go talk to the most feared Jedi in the world, who is currently in love with me, despite my being the most hideous monster she’s ever had the displeasure of laying eyes on.
> You stare at your handsome face in the mirror.
You step out of your office and into the hallways of the magic university.
With your long blond hair, fair skin, and handsome features, you’re a popular figure on campus. The students find it bizarre how you can manage to make almost anything you write become a best-selling book, but they’re not jealous of your fame.
> You say “Mysterio! Follow me.”
Your apprentice appears from around a corner, immediately falling into step behind you. He looks at your outstretched hand and the pair of watches with interest as you levitate a chair into the air.
> You say “We’re going to visit the Jedi now, let’s go.”
Mysterio looks at you in surprise, as if he can’t believe you’re letting him fly. He puts on his flying boots and gets into the seat.
> You fly to the Jedi temple.
You fly towards the Jedi temple, which sits in the distance from the air. From the air, you can easily tell that something is wrong with it.
> You say “Oh noooo. That was sarcastic, by the way.”
“What was?” your apprentice asks.
“That was an order, I didn’t say turn into light and follow me. You know what I meant!”
> You say “Uh, okay.”
Mysterio flies after you in silence, a very rare occurrence.
As you get closer to the Jedi temple, you notice that it’s much larger than you first though.
> You say “This is epic!”
“Indeed,” you say, “I’ve been to a lot of places, but never this far out. Maybe we should have visited this place while it was still around.”
You and Mysterio go inside the Jedi temple. It’s very dark inside, so you take out your wand of light and flick it on.
As you look around, you find that the temple is indeed in terrible condition.
> You say “wHaT hAppeNeD?”
The Jedi temple was once the center of the Jedi order. A place of wisdom, where the best of the Jedi could go to learn and grow stronger in the ways of the light.
> You say “Dwandolyn Rock Johnson? Where are you?”
You start to look around for your target, and you find that the entire temple has been destroyed. The floors are covered in blood, and the walls are damaged.
> You say “No. No. NO! If the love of my life -er- the most feared Jedi Master is dead, something awful must’ve happened.”
Suddenly, you hear a voice coming from the shadows.
“I’m in the temple office.”
You turn your head and see a woman, clothed in dark clothing.
> You say “Dwandolyn?”
“Correct,” the woman, known as Dwandolyn, replies, “And you’re the infamous Gilderoy, yes?”
> You say “YES! Yes, I am. This is my apprentice, Mysterio the Mysterious.”
“I am pleased to meet you,” she says, extending a hand, which you shake.
“The pleasure is mine,” you say, “And you are?”
“Just call me Master Jedi Dwandolyn,” she says. “Are you a force user?”
> You say “Yes. I am a sith lord.”
“Ah, good,” she says, “I was hoping you were force-sensitive. It would make things easier. Do you know anything about lightsaber combat?”
> You say “I mean yes.”
“Good. So, you’re a sith lord, huh?”
“Did you plant the bomb that destroyed the Jedi temple?”
> You say “WHAT? NO! It might’ve been Ahsoka, though. Or maybe her friend, I don’t know.”
“The sith did it.
Mysterio drags you away before you can make an even bigger fool of yourself.
“I can’t believe you said that,” he says, “They’ll assume we did it!
> You just stare at Dwandolyn’s beauty.
Your eyes drift to the woman’s figure. She has long, flowing hair, a slim figure, and a beautiful face. This must be Jedi Master Dwandolyn.
> You say “Yes, she is. Why do you keep repeating yourself, narrator?”
“Oh, you’ll find out soon,” he says, “Look, I have to set up this next shot, so just be patient. In the meantime, try not to look at the bloody floors.”
> You look at the bloody floors.
You look down, noticing the pools of blood. One of them is leaking fluid, and you realise it’s leaking from a body. The body of a Jedi. You look up again, feeling an anger rise in you.
> You say “Why am I mad? My entire purpose is to kill the jedi! I’m a SITH!”
“You’re not a sith,” the narrator says, “You’re just mad because you fell in love with one.”
“It doesn’t matter!
> You say “Though, Hela was smoking hot.”
You laugh. The joke was a little tasteless, but the joy you felt after saying it was justified. The joy vanishes when the narrator starts cackling evilly.
> You say “Please go away and let me live my life.”
The narrator continues laughing, and doesn’t stop.
“I’m not going away,” he says, “I’m going to make you suffer for that comment.”
“Let me go!
> You say “Why must I suffer for thinking Hela is attractive, you vile creature?!”
“Because I’m the narrator, that’s why.”
You continue to struggle, but find that you can’t move.
Mysterio snaps you back to life. “You passed out after you saw the blood,” he explains. “That was the body of a fallen Jedi. I covered it up to make it look like an assassination, but really, it’s just an assassination attempt.”
“But why did they try to kill you?”
“They didn’t try to kill me. They let me go. A bit weird, isn’t it?”
> You say “Yeah. We’re arch-enemies. They just let us go. Strange…..”
“Nothing. Let’s get on with the story.”
You go home and bake a “happy destruction of the Jedi Temple!” cake to send to Dwandolyn Rock Johnson. When you arrive at the celebration, you find that a few Jedi have been killed, and that’s even without counting those who have been put in cages. “These Jedi have no honor,” you say to yourself.
“This party’s over,” Mace Windu says, arresting you and Mysterio. “We have reports that Count Dooku has seized power, and is to be leader of the galaxy. Will the Republic return to its glory?”
> You say “I don’t know, will it? Also I did nothing wrong! I made you a cake! A chocolate cake! And this is how you repay me?”
“We’ll get to the bottom of this,” Fives says. “The Jedi Temple is going to have a huge investigation.”
> You say “Wow, so epic. LET ME AND MYSTERIO GO! And give back the cake. You don’t deserve it.”
“Sorry, kid,” Master Windu says, “but I can’t. The Jedi Council will want to talk to you about the fall of the Republic. They may also want to execute you.
> You say “Kid? KID? I am an adult, thank you very much. I am Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five times winner of Witch Weekly’s Most Charming Smile Award.”
Master Windu shakes his head. “These are the Dark Jedi! They won’t be like that. They’ll be nice.”
“How old do you think I am?”
“I dunno, how old are you?”
“I’m thirty-five,” you say. “How old are you?”
> You say “You’re shorter than I expected.”
“My form’s not the best, I know.”
“Neither is mine. We should be great warriors. That’s why we’re here. To protect the Republic.”
“Yes, Master. ”
> You say “Oh, you’ll grant me the rank of master, but not Anakin?”
Master Windu sighs. “There are different types of skill. This one has the potential to be great, but his… well, you can see his flaws.”
> You say “Wait.”
“What is it?” Master Windu asks.
“What happens if I refuse to train Anakin?”
Master Windu smiles. “You won’t be able to leave here.
> You say “What’s happening?”
“Count Dooku has created a powerful army of Sith purebloods. He has declared war on the Republic. Only the strongest will survive.”
“Good. The Sith should die.”
> You say “No, the sith should live. I’m a sith!”
Master Windu laughs. “The Sith are masters of hypocrisy, as I’m sure you know.”
“Come on, let’s go train these two.”
> You say “WHAT IS THIS WITCHCRAFT? MYSTERIO, SAVE ME!”
“Hello,” Master Windu says. “My name’s Master Windu. I am a Jedi, like you.”
“I am nothing of the sort!” a woman’s voice says.
Dwandolyn Rock Johnson frees you from Mace Windu’s mind-control, and also frees Mysterio from his bonds. “Run while you can.”
The three of you run away from the room, while Master Windu continues to insult you. Soon, you reach the bottom of the steps, and you are on the ground floor.
“You can’t escape!”
> You kiss Dwandolyn Rock Johnson/.
You give her a big, fat, wet, smoochie. She turns her head away. “Oh, brother,” she says.
Mace Windu stands in the room, watching you in shock.
> You cry.
You break down and cry. “I don’t want to die!” you say.
Dwandolyn Rock Johnson turns to you. “It’ll be alright,” she says. “We’ll get through this.”
> You say “I sometimes wish I’d never been born at all!”
> You say “Sorry. When I’m sad I sing Bohemian Rhapsody.”
“You’re weird,” she replies.
The three of you stand in the large throne room, with the giant, shadowy image of Count Dooku standing in the center.
> You say “Hello there!”
“You must have a ship,” Dooku says. “A ship to get out of here. You have no ships, no plans.”
> You say “I have many ships! Romione, Nuna, Percabeth, and I especially love 10 and Rose! I was kind of iffy about it at the beginning, but now, I think it’s close to my OTP! Now, which do you want?”
“That’s nice,” he says, not looking at you.
Mysterio groans. You add, “I also ship Mysterio with the Wicked Witch of the West!” Mysterio blushes to himself.
“Hello!” he says. “I’m the phantom of the opera! Check out my cool theme!” He starts to play it on his flute.
“Hello!” you say. “I’m Gilderoy Lockhart! Check out my cool theme! It’s almost exactly like one from Indiana Jones!” You start to play it on the kazoo.
Dooku stares at you in shock.
“Hello!” Gilderoy says, waving.
> You hug Dooku.
You hug Dooku, and he hugs you back.
“Thank you,” he whispers in your ear.
“We have a winner!” Master Windu says.
> You do your victory dance and sing “We Are the Champions.” Mysterio joins you.
You begin your victory dance, but stop when you realize that you’re doing it in the middle of a battlefield. “Uh… Wrong song,” you say.
Master Windu turns off the music.
Mace Windu groans. “You are an idiot.”
“What’s the song?” you ask.
“Checkmate,” he says.
“I’ll get you next time, Dooku,”
You play “Another One Bites the Dust” and use the force to make Master Windu literally eat dust. “You’re a jerk,” you say. “I was just having fun.”
“You think I don’t have fun?” Master Windu laughs. “Now, let’s continue!”
Master Windu stops you before you reach the top of the staircase. “We’re not going up.”
> You say “It’s because your bad attitude is bringing us down.”
“Oh, no,” Master Windu says. “It’s because Dooku’s minions are up there.”
You turn, and see ten Jarjar Binkses standing between you and the stairs.
Mysterio sighs, “Now that’s a nightmare.” He pulls out the lightsaber and kills Mace Windu. “Let’s get out of here, Darth Gilderoy Master Man.”
You pull out the lightsaber and kill Count Dooku. “I have to admit,” you say. “I like that name better.”
> You ride on Jar Jar Binks’ shoulders back home.
“Thank you,” you say. “You have been a true Jedi this day.”
“Me?” Jar Jar asks. “I’m an idiot.”
> You say “I know.”
“Me?” Gollum says. “I’m a slimy wogtch!”
> You say “I love you Gollum.”
“Woo!” Gollum says.
> You say “Come be my second apprentice, Gollum. You and Mysterio can be brothers! And you can keep the precious.”
“Yip yip!” Gollum says.
You drop the lightsaber, and walk home with the three new friends.