TIPS: HOW TO SURVIVE RISE OF THE SKYWALKER

HEY Y’ALL? ARE YOU READY FOR ROtS?? I’M NOT! HERE’S TIPS ON HOW TO SURVIVE THIS EMOTIONAL ORDEAL! GUARANTEED INSTANT RESULTS!


  • Bring many tissues for those Leia scenes
  • Bring a earplugs for everyone in the building for those #IShipThemSoHard scenes
  • Contract amnesia on that one exact memory of ROTS’s existence so you don’t remember that your faves are going to die. (downside: you never watch it)
  • CHOOOOOOCOOOOOOOLLLLLAAAATTTTEEEEEEE
  • Buy a large blanket to burrito yourself in
  • Contract a terminal disease so you can watch tRoS early (and there’s no need to survive it because you’ll die anyway)
  • Hire a wookie to cuddle and cry on
  • Become a middle-aged man who “grew up on REAL star wars” and complain about it the whole time. So you don’t get overwhelmed by unmanly feels
  • Buy John Boyega’s script on eBay so you can cry in the comfort of your own home (over the loss of your college fund and once-promising future, most likely)
  • Get life alert. “Help, I’ve flailed over Reylo and can’t get up!”
  • Look at pictures of baby yoda the whole time
  • Listen to Twilight instead of the dialogue.  Instant results. Side effects may include boredom, nausea, triggers, a compulsive need to call the police, and sudden impulses to light the dang thing on fire.
  • Don’t think about: Leia has to die because Carrie Fisher’s dead. C3P0 is most likely going to ‘die.’ HAN SOLO IS DEAD. Luke is dead. Kylo will probably die Snape-style (because Snape is his true father btw)
  • Get hit by a bus beforehand

WHAT DO YOU THINK? WILL YOU BE USING ANY OF MY TIPS? DO YOU HAVE ANY TO ADD?

ALSO: Ask me questions for my ONE HUNDRED FOLLOWER (still amazed) Q&A! ASK HERE PLS CAUSE I’M UNORGANIZED

3 thoughts on “TIPS: HOW TO SURVIVE RISE OF THE SKYWALKER

  1. Sophie @ Me and Ink says:

    I love the energy in the post!!
    I will definitely be prepared for man tears on twitter complaining about it because it isn’t the real star wars 😂😂
    BABY YODA!! How adorable?!?!!?
    OH NO everyone is going to die (possible Snape’s son as well 😂)!! I still can’t believe Han Solo died!! I need a wookie now to cry on now!!
    I will buy loads of chocolate because of this post though!!

    Like

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