HEY Y’ALL? ARE YOU READY FOR ROtS?? I’M NOT! HERE’S TIPS ON HOW TO SURVIVE THIS EMOTIONAL ORDEAL! GUARANTEED INSTANT RESULTS!
- Bring many tissues for those Leia scenes
- Bring a earplugs for everyone in the building for those #IShipThemSoHard scenes
- Contract amnesia on that one exact memory of ROTS’s existence so you don’t remember that your faves are going to die. (downside: you never watch it)
- Buy a large blanket to burrito yourself in
- Contract a terminal disease so you can watch tRoS early (and there’s no need to survive it because you’ll die anyway)
- Hire a wookie to cuddle and cry on
- Become a middle-aged man who “grew up on REAL star wars” and complain about it the whole time. So you don’t get overwhelmed by unmanly feels
- Buy John Boyega’s script on eBay so you can cry in the comfort of your own home (over the loss of your college fund and once-promising future, most likely)
- Get life alert. “Help, I’ve flailed over Reylo and can’t get up!”
- Look at pictures of baby yoda the whole time
- Listen to Twilight instead of the dialogue. Instant results. Side effects may include boredom, nausea, triggers, a compulsive need to call the police, and sudden impulses to light the dang thing on fire.
- Don’t think about: Leia has to die because Carrie Fisher’s dead. C3P0 is most likely going to ‘die.’ HAN SOLO IS DEAD. Luke is dead. Kylo will probably die Snape-style (because Snape is his true father btw)
- Get hit by a bus beforehand
WHAT DO YOU THINK? WILL YOU BE USING ANY OF MY TIPS? DO YOU HAVE ANY TO ADD?
ALSO: Ask me questions for my ONE HUNDRED FOLLOWER (still amazed) Q&A! ASK HERE PLS CAUSE I’M UNORGANIZED